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  • I Effin Live There ( In Ireland That Is)

     

                          Where do you live? I effin live in Effin, Ireland. Yeah if I worked at Facebook I’d wouldn’t believe you either. The Irish town with the (seemingly) offensive name has finally been acknowledged as a real place, where real people live. Effin is a townland […]

  • “What Did We Do Before Yelp?”

     

    I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a conversation a couple across from me was having on the metro today. “What did we do before Yelp??” The woman giggled as they both scoured recommendations for where to eat. I thought, “ Obviously you starved.” When I think about Yelp or any of the many, many, opportunities […]

  • If Your Skin Is Blue, Don’t Marry Your Blue Cousin (Advice This Family Didn’t Take)

     

    People might refer to people as being “people as every color of the rainbow,” but I promise you they aren’t thinking about the color blue. Why is that even a saying—black, brown and white aren’t even really colors on a rainbow. I wondered about this as a kid (do purple people exist mom?) and I […]

  • Surviving a Plane Crash By Seat Selection (?)

     

    In the wake of Asiana Flight 214, there’s been a noticeable interest in ways to survive a plane crash. More commenters and articles have been popping up online and on TV. These listings should more correctly be entitled: All the Ways A Few of You Might Survive a Plane Crash. That’s how I feel from the […]

  • Admission fee to bookstores

     

    Could this have saved Borders? No one has stopped reading, they’ve just gotten cheaper. Going to the library isn’t nearly as trendy as shopping online. As Nancy Salmon, the floor manager at Kepler’s Books describes: “They type titles into their iPhones and go home, we know what they’re doing, and it has tested my patience.” […]

  • The ASMR Phenomenon You Either Completely Understand or Completely Don’t

     

    I came into the ASMR fold pretty late. I heard about it after my ex crush, failed date, audio journalist, former neighbor (yes, all that), tweeted the article, Meet The Maryland Woman Who Makes A Living By Whispering. That night, I watched her role play that she was a flight attendant, explaining how to put on a seat […]

  • If I Couldn’t Shop At Target, I’d Miss It Too

     

    I was just saying the other day to a friend, if I was ever famous for some reason, I’d still shop at Target, because Target is awesome. I live in Los Angeles where the odds of running into a celeb doing something normal and boring, and shopping at the same places I do, is pretty much […]

  • Is Employment Nervousness Giving People Asthma?

     

    Shortness of breath, chest tightness, inflamed and narrowed airways, wheezing, coughing, the illness that makes breathing feel about as comfortable as breathing through a straw is for any extended length of time. In the same way that asthma is a struggle to live with; it is a struggle for doctors to understand even though the […]

  • Scaptia Plinthina Beyonceae (or the fly named after Beyonce)

     

    How to make a fly sound as fly as Beyoncé? Name it after her. Queen B, as her fans affectionately call her, meet the scaptia plinthina beyonceae.

  • I Will Not Put Out My Fake Cigarette, And You Can’t Make Me!!

     

     “Irate Southwest Passenger Objects to Putting Out Electronic Cigarette, Pelts Crew With Peanuts” Please oh please click here and read up on this!! Beware of the smoker who’s trying to become a non-smoker. It’s not a pleasant transition. There may be turbulence along the way…  

  • How Not Knowing about Cell Phone Tracking and Other Technology Is Ridiculous

     

    R&B artist Rockwell nailed it in 1984 when he sang the lyrics, “I always feel like somebody’s watching me…and I got no privacy.” Privacy is increasingly becoming an illusion, either you can be in on the trick or keep “oooh and ahhh-ing” every time something tracking is revealed. I myself, would rather be in on […]

  • True Blood Is Fictional, Vampires Are Not Real. (maybe you should write this down)

     

    On a not dark and stormy night in St. Petersburg, FL, Milton Ellis, 69, slept in his motorized wheelchair outside a vacant Hooters restaurant, just minding his own business. He awoke to find Josephine Rebecca Smith, 22, of Pensacola, on top of him claiming to be a vampire and proceeding to bite off chunks of […]